Sunday, July 18, 2010

Heavy thoughts

Today has been filled with heavy thoughts: thoughts on relationships,thoughts of moving, thoughts on life. A lot of things are running through my head these days.
Tyler and I moved here to meet his fathers side of the family. We tried not to have unrealistic expectations about the whole situation, but it seems that even our simplest desires aren't meant to be. From the day I found out that Jimmy wasn't Tyler's father, I had been interested in this mystical person that we only knew as Dominick Pallone. (A name we decided sounded like it belonged in a Italian romance novel) We would sit and wonder what he was like, (we'd already heard about how he used to be.), wondered what he looked like and if him and Tyler were alike in any way. Tyler always expressed that he hoped he had siblings, a sister is what he wanted the most. Once we found out that this sister existed, our number one reason for moving here was so Tyler could meet her. He really wanted that sibling relationship that he never had. I don't really feel like getting deep into our disappointments about moving here, yet, but they will come up from time to time and maybe all make sense in the end.

Tyler and I discussed getting married on todays date, but didn't really have the money yet, and didn't want to get married on a Sunday. What's so special about July 18th? Well, today is our 5 1/2 year anniversary, but more importantly, today would have been my mom and dad's 40th wedding anniversary. I think it would have been neat to get married the same day as my mom and dad. There are many other details about Tyler and I getting married that we just can't seem to iron out. Number one, no one in his family likes me, on either side, and while that doesn't really matter to us, it is kind of a pain in the ass. Number two, Tyler doesn't want to disappoint his moms side of the family by getting married without them there, but getting his mom and dads sides of the family together would probably result in a war. I want to go off and get married alone because I don't think a wedding should be a spectator sport, Tyler agrees, but he hates to disappoint people. (more on that later)

There is a lot more I wanted to write about tonight, but I underestimated my attention span. I'll write more tomorrow.

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