Friday, October 15, 2010

Happy Birthday

Ahhh yes, so today is my 28th birthday... Not really a big milestone in life, but I remember when I was 14 and thought my future would be different. Like many teenage girls, I can remember sitting in my best friends room talking about what we were going to go to college for, what our houses were going to be like, what age we wanted to be married by, and how many kids we wanted to have. (Of course we even had our kids names picked out already.)

Absolutely nothing about those conversations came true. I suppose all for good reason. Sometimes you think you know what you want, then you get something completely different and are happier than you ever thought you could be.

I did go to college, but not the one I had picked out nor for the degree I had planned. I still do not own my own house, which is probably a good thing because I have enjoyed moving around. I'm not married yet, but have since decided that being married really doesn't matter much. As for kids.... eh, maybe I don't want kids after all. After encountering so many fucked up families in the last 14 years, having kids doesn't seem so appealing anymore. You put in all this effort to raise your kids to be decent people and you have a 50/50 chance of that working out. Sometimes I don't think I want to take that chance.

Being 28 also marks another important event in my life. I only have 95 days before I have lived more of my life without my dad than with him. January 18th 2011 marks the day that I have lived exactly 14 years with him and exactly 14 years without him.

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